We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
