this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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