I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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