I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
