i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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