So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
