the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
