Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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