I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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