he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
