I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
