a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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