I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
