My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
