found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
