I just threw up on my dentist
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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