yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
