If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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