Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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