I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
