she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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