I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
