Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
