yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
