oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
