Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
