My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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