Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
