Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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