): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
