Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
