Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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