After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
