Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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