help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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