her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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