Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
