dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am naked and annoyed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize