the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
