btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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