3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
