I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
