I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
