Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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