i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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