He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
