I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You need a sexual gate keeper
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
