You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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