I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
