ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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