Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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