I want to have your abortion
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
