Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize