So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
