dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
